Dubai Airport is huge! So it’s best not to miss your turn if it can be avoided.
This is a magnificent building that sees somewhere around the vicinity of 50-100 million people pass through it’s doors every year. It is possible that most of them were there today! They have everything that your typical airport has; shops, restaurants; bars; lounges, travelators and plenty of duty free. However the one thing this monstrous place lacks is toilets. I arrived and was a bit busting, but the first toilet I came across had about 30 other busting women lined up out the door and around the corner. I thought that there can’t possibly be that many people at the next ones - surely, so onward I marched only to find a similar looking dire situation at the next set of facilities and again at the next. I finally reached the end of the building and the final ladies toilet which still had a line of ladies a waitin’. So I joined the cue.
Whilst I was in that line was not moving as swiftly as my bladder would have hoped it would, two little Indian ladies walked past the line of side stepping sisters and the lady behind me stopped them in their tracks and said,
“Umm, excuse me we’re all in line here.”
They didn’t seem to understand the concept. One of the confused ladies asked,
“Is this the toilet?” they enquired.
All eyes spun around and were now on her - brows furrowed.
“Yep, we’re lining up here.... for the toilet.” The lady in the line replied.
“…and, you’re all waiting…. here?” The little confused Indian lady ventured?
I’m not sure what she thought we were all doing there lined up under the international sign for ladies’ toilet - I hate to think! Anyway, they lined up with us for about a minute and then just wandered away.
I finally reached the front and found that there were only 2 cubicles and 1 squatter that nobody was using. The logistics of me using the squatter toilet was just too much to bare.
Who is designing these toilets? WHO? You would have to assume that it is a man, or perhaps a woman who has NEVER - in her life, used a public toilet, but thought to herself, ‘I’ve got no clue, but sure, I’ll give it a crack.’
I was lucky enough to have a pass to the lounge but it didn’t occur to me until after the toilet turmoil that I could have and should have just used the facilities there. Oh well.
When I arrived in the transit lounge, my departure gate was B19. I found where that was when I was on my toilet mission, I like to knowI where I have to go and how long it will take me to get there. They were very confident writing the gate number on the boarding passes, so much so that they even circle it! However, the lady with the heavily accented voice announced that my flight was now boarding at gate number A10. Now for those of you have not been to Dubai Airport, Gates A & B are literally miles away from each other. In fact, you have to get a train from on to the other. I had to go up and down escalators, then along the corridor and then up in a lift and then on the train then down the lift and down another escalator. I rushed through the rabbit warren labyrinth until I finally made it to the gate which was still boarding, but there seemed to be a bit of a shamozle going on. There were 4 clear lines of people going through the mini gate passport check but they were taking ages and the lines weren’t moving. All the staff seemed to be whispering to each other, one woman even just walked away leaving the people in her line looking at each and wondering if she was coming back or if they should join another line? Watching from another desk was a burly lady dressed in the Emirates uniform and she blustered over pushing people out of the way to see what was going on and everything stopped again.
Not what you’d expect from Emirates!
Past the check in desk and down another escalator where I’m met by yet another ticket checker. I’m not sure how I could have changed my ticket between the last counter and the next, but nevertheless, the ticket is shown. He looked at it and said “You need to go in the other door, go up the lift.” and waved me away. “Ive just come from up there, which lift do you mean?” to which is colleague replied “No, no, you just go around here.” For the love of God! So I walk around the wall to the waiting lounge where people are going through yet another ticket check. I made it to the front and the big blustery lady was there doing the checking. She took one look and said, “No, no, no.” and then looked at another man who showed me where I was meant to be - honestly, I was starting to look around for the hidden cameras. “Heavens, this is very disorganised, isn’t it?” I verbally noted to nobody in particular.
I’ve been reassured by the cabin crew manager that the weather in New York should have cleared by the time we get there. It will probably still be windy and cold, freezing in fact, about -7c, but otherwise good! :-)
New York - here I come!
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